Can I Be Your Hero?
by Ash04123
Summary: What happens when Canada falls ill and begins walking down a dark path? Can America be there for his lover? ( UsCan / AmeCan ) WARNING: Involves incest. DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia.
1. Can I Be Your Hero Part 1- Illness

**Title: Can I Be Your Hero?**

**Author: Ash04123**

**Rating: T **

**Main Pairing: AmericaxCanada  
**

**Hinted pairing: FrUK**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia does in no way belong to me!**

**Warning: If suicide offends you in any way I plead you to look away. **

**This is my first fanfiction, do leave reviews and such!**

**Final Note: The fanfiction begins with Matthew forced to get a haircut. **

Alfred held Matthew closely as quiet sobs filled the room. " It doesn't matter how you look, I'll always love you, Mattie," Alfred whispered from behind, a warm smile on his face as his fingers traced down the others arm. No eye contact was made between the two brothers, just silent actions.

"What if it doesn't grow back? What...What if I don't get better, Alfie?" spoke Matthew, his body trembling as he broke into more tears. He hadn't stopped crying since the doctors informed him of his state. The doctor's described him as, 'in a trance' before Alfred arrived at his side.

"Mattie, your hair is not more important than your health," Alfred quickly responded, his voice soft but contained. America cared deeply for his brother, he only tried to maintain his heroic and strong composure for Canada's sake. However on the inside, which he'd never be able to admit, he was slowly breaking.

Matthew awaited another response, one that would never come. Alfred couldn't answer it because it'd involve thinking about such a thing, which was something he was simply incapable of doing.

Instead, he placed his chin over his brother's shoulder. His arms pulled the shivering Canada closer; Matthew's shaking slowly came to a stop. They remained this way until Matthew slowly turned his head, a faint smile on his face as he gazed into his lover's eyes.

"Beautiful," whispered the other as Matthew quickly turned, swinging his arms around Alfred's neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. This made America smile, he thought that as long as he kept Canada happy, nothing could go wrong.

Alfred softly caressed his brother's cheek, returning the kiss with a gentle balance. After a few moments Alfred retreated his head, standing up from the couch and helping Matthew up as well. The two brothers walked upstairs to their room, Alfred's head leaning on the others. They strolled into bed, Matthew cuddling close into the others arms.

"You're still the most beautiful being in existence, Mattie," he sighed a bit happily, kissing the top of his head. A small whimper of delight could just barely be heard from the brother as he began to close his eyes. Alfred kept his smile until he could hear the small peaceful snores of Matthew. When he did, only then did his eyes swell up with tears.

"Your hero is here, Mattie, but even I'm not sure...," his voice trailed off, biting his lip hard as he didn't want to awake his lover. Alfred knew this was only the beginning of what to come, but even he had trouble accepting the fact.

-To be Continued.


	2. Can I Be Your Hero Part 2- Get Down

**Title: Can I Be Your Hero?**

**Author: Ash04123**

**Rating: T **

**Disclaimer: Hetalia does in no way belong to me!**

A few months had passed since Matthew learned about his illness. He was diagnosed with Cancer, it had broken out around him with nearly no explaination. Alfred tried his best to maintain his brother's life as a normal one. However, with the exception that he didn't let Matthew out to see the other nations. America feared if the other nations saw him they might pity him; Matthew hated being pitied. Therefore, he kept him inside, otherwise, a normal relationship. There was no conversations about his sickness, no mentions or hints. Everything seemed to be going fine until one night.  
Alfred was sound asleep, snoring softly in peace until he reached over to hold Matthew such as an every night routine. However, he felt nothing. His hand gripped the sheets before releasing, sliding down the bed before slowly opening his eyes. Matthew was not in sight. Quickly he sat up, his eyes glanced the room in distress. Where had his lover gone?  
"Mattie?" Alfred called out to no response. Worry began to flood his mind. In Matthew's condition he had to be watched. He dragged his legs off the bed, still quite tired. America stood up and cupped his hands over his mouth before calling out once more, "Mattie!" Once again he was greeted with silence. He glanced around the room before his eyes stopped and focused on the glass doors to th balcony. They were open partly, as if someone had been through them; Matthew. Why was Matthew outside during this time through, was the only thought on Alfred's head.  
Taking no more time to think about it he walked outside, a breeze hitting his face and blowing his hair back. Alfred stared out, their house had the perfect view of the city. It viewed the other houses and all their blinking Christmas lights. Alfred thought it was quite amazing as he briefly looked. Only soon after did he turn to his right did he spot the worst thing imaginable.  
"Matthew, get down," Alfred tried to keep his voice low and calm, but to no avail. He stood frozen in place, one arm reached forward while the other stood limp at his side. It was as if the wind had become so cold it was now knives against his skin. "Mattie," Alfred spoke again, his voice failing to keep back it's fear as it trailed off.  
"Alfred, you don't understand..." Matthew began, his right leg knelt above the balcony railing as his other remained on the floor, "My people are losing hope." Matthew spoke, but it didn't seem to be coming from him. It was as if a force had taken over his body, his words were emotionless. Tears streamed down his pale cheeks, quiet whimpers escaped his mouth.  
"Come here now,"Alfred said, his voice becoming demanding as he took another step towards his brother.  
"I'll jump, Alfred!" Matthew suddenly bursted out, placing both his hands on the railing as if to pull himself up. America immediately became paralyzed, the words buzzing in his ear. This wasn't the brother he'd known as a child anymore; this was his lover in despair.  
Now Alfred backed up, his eyes quickly seeming to darken under the moonlight.  
"Matthew," Alfred said, his voice not hiding any fact that he was upset, "Please come inside..." He couldn't manage to say anymore, if he did, he would have broken break into tears.  
They stood in their positions for ten minutes. Down below a dog could be heard barking among the whispers of the people going about their normal lives. Alfred had always wanted to be so much more than the average person, he was America after all. However, at this moment, there was nothing more he wanted than to just be one of them. _Safe and away from danger _, he thought.  
After a few more minutes Matthew moved his head to stare out into the distance, thoughts and possibilities roaming his head. Alfred stood in place, too scared to move now. Matthew lowered his leg and fell to his knees as soon as it hit the ground.  
"I'm so sorry, Alfred!" Matthew began to sob, covering his face with his hands. Alfred quickly walked over, kneeling down beside him, wrapping an arm around him. He kissed Matthew's head, but said nothing more. He lifted him up into a bride like position before walking inside, his face expressionless.  
Alfred placed his brother into bed, walking back to shut the doors to the balcony softly, staring at them for a moment before returning to Canada. He slid into bed next to him, wrapping an arm around and pulling him into a hug.  
"I love you," whispered Matthew, whining it almost. Alfred couldn't respond, his voice had completely left him. Instead he leaned in and kissed his cheek, nodding a bit. Matthew smiled weakly, tears still leaving his eyes as they slowly closed.  
Once again, Alfred played the waiting game. His face stood as cement, unmoving and emotionless until he heard the soft calm breathing of Matthew asleep. Almost immediately after, he unwrapped his arms around Matthew and lifted himself off the bed. He knelt down by it, putting his hands together and leaning on the bed with his elbows.  
"It's been awhile," he whispered lowly, deep sorrow in his voice. "I haven't talked to you since the Cold War, although that was more of a plead. I hope you're still watching over me, although I can already guess the answer. I have to say, I'm running out of options. The doctors aren't finding any cure or way to prevent it at his state. I'd truly do anything, to keep Matthew from getting worse. I'd cut off my own arm for him, and you already know that. Please, let him become better. I'm officially losing my sanity over this, I can't stand to see him this way. And after today, I have nothing else to do or say to him. He's dying mentally and physically. I'd rather go through this than him, he just doesn't deserve it. So please, hear these words and help him." Alfred couldn't speak anymore, his own tears began escaping as he lightly gasped for air.  
He stood up, done with his prayer and slid back into bed. He couldn't sleep, he stayed wide awake, watching Matthew until the next morning. If only he was prepared for what was to happen a few weeks later.


	3. Can I Be Your Hero Part 3- No Sleep

**Title: Can I Be Your Hero?**

**Author: Ash04123**

**Rating: T **

**Disclaimer: Hetalia does in no way belong to me!**

After the day Matthew nearly jumped, Alfred couldn't sleep. Every day and night he feared that if he slept, he'd awake to a lonely bed. The only time he would sleep was if England or France came over to watch Matthew. Arthur and Francis were the only two that America trusted not to treat Matthew too different.  
This went on for a few more months. Matthew had to be given countless check-ups. His condition seemed far from improving now.  
America attempted to keep strong but the image of that dreadful night permanently seemed to replay in his head. He was slacking in his work, too afraid to leave Matthew alone. He began to miss world meetings and not turn in the proper paper work. The other nations refused to excuse him, however America still felt his brother was much more important.  
No other person understood, no one else knew about that night.  
They'd never feel what I did if they didn't go through it, Alfred thought as his eyes seemed to droop. He hadn't slept since England visited three days ago. He tried splashing water on his face and even exercise in order to keep awake. This could only work for such short period of time however. He didn't have the strength to move. He was so sleep deprived that his body was shivering. He tried to deny it but at this rate he was putting himself at high risks.  
He sat up in bed, his eyes quickly darting around the room in attempt to stay awake. He was slightly panting; he was clearly a mess. His eyes stopped moving and focused on the other blonde haired boy entering the room. Matthew wore red pajama pants along with a plain white shirt.  
When he laid eyes on Alfred he beamed with a smile. Alfred immediately smiled back but it began to fade as he noticed his brother's eyes. They had dark rings beneath them that his glasses failed to cover.  
"Are you okay?" Mattie said quietly as he tilted his head; he couldn't speak much louder. Alfred blinked a few times, half from being so tired and the other from processing the question.  
"I feel fine," Alfred lied, a not so convincing chuckle letting loose. Matthew crawled into bed and slipped his arms around his lover, leaning his head on his shoulder.  
"You're a bad liar, Alfred," Matthew whispered, just high enough so he could hear. Alfred sighed and nodded. He turned to kiss his head softly. "I think I'm getting better actually," Canada looked up with a small smile.  
Alfred arched a brow, "Why do you say that?"  
"So you can return to work," the other replied as his expression grew serious. America shook his head at his brother's lame attempt.  
"I still have a few sick days," he replied  
"Those were used up last week."  
"Then I'll make sure to go every single week after, as soon as you're better."  
"You hate work."  
"Doesn't matter."  
"And if I don't get better?"  
Alfred narrowed his eyes, "You will." Matthew sighed, leaning up to peck the angered brother's lips. He wanted Alfred to return to work, he felt like he was keeping him back.  
"The world needs their hero though," Matthew tried with a final attempt.  
"You need a hero," Alfred replied sadly, however he didn't mean himself. The room remained quiet for a few moments afterwards. They both were absorbing the truth of such a statement, knowing it was reality. There wasn't any cure for Matthew's cancer, it'd take a miracle for it to disappear. While the quiet lingered on, Alfred's eyes began to droop once again. They were nearly closed when he felt his arm being moved. He opened them and looked down at his brother who was softly petting his hand.  
"Having fun there?" Alfred chuckled, slightly tilting his head to the side. Matthew kept a soft, neutral expression as he intertwined his fingers with Alfred's. He brought the two bonded hands up and they acted as a divider between the two. Alfred glanced at them, trying to spot what his brother was so interested in.  
"Aren't they pretty?" Canada said at last, catching his brothers gaze. America arched a brow before smiling warmly as well. He understood now what he meant. Matthew was staring at their wedding rings. It was almost a distant memory now; their wedding day. They both sighed happily in unison. Alfred eyes looked back up to Matthew who kept his stare on the rings. Alfred leaned in and softly kissed the Canadian's head, nudging his cheek.  
"Not as pretty as you," Alfred chuckled weakly. The twin brother hid a faint blush and glanced away before laying back; their hands were still intertwined.  
"Good night, Al, please go to sleep," whispered Matthew as his eyes closed quickly. He has been so tired lately that he reduced to taking naps during the day as well. Alfred sometimes envied all the sleep he got but quickly felt guilty afterwards for being so selfish. Besides, Alfred knew he was the lucky one and not Matthew.  
"G'night," Alfred whispered while ignoring the statement. It's not as if he didn't want to sleep, he grunted. He just couldn't go to sleep, he couldn't! Alfred listened as quiet crept up onto the room once more. He waited as quite snores quickly filled his ears. Alfred sighed heavily and hung his head. He was exhausted to his full extent and didn't know what to do. He decided to close his eyes to think but as soon as he did he instantly saw it as a bad idea. His eyes refused to open!  
He tried grumbling a few curses to awaken himself but no words came out of his mouth. It didn't even seem to move at the low groan that escaped instead. Alfred's mind was quickly growing black as he was falling into slumber. He lightly squeezed his lovers hand, runnning a finger around their rings before he passed out.  
x-x-x-x-x  
It wasn't clear what time it was when the American's eyes opened. His arms stretched far out as he heard a few clicks from his bones. He yawned loudly, almost like a roar. He raised a hand to rub his eyes before glancing around the room. He stared ahead past the television where two flags were. The American and Canadian flag.  
He narrowed his eyes as he noticed the red and white flag's corner was falling off the wall. America frowned but decided to deal with it later. There we much more important things to attend to. He glanced over at the clock and his eyes grew wide. It was nearly six in the afternoon! He had slept for sixteen hours!  
He grunted and shook his head. At least he had gotten prepare to take care of Matthew for a couple more days, he thought. He turned his head to the left and saw the Canadian. He looked smaller for some reason. Alfred reached an arm over and lightly tapped his back.  
"Mattie, it's time to wake up," Alfred mumbled lowly. He waited for a few moments to no response. He tried again and shook his brothers shoulder slightly from behind. "Mattie, you have to wake up it's really late dude."  
Matthew stood still like a rock. Instantly Alfred frowned. Did he awaken during the night and only recently went back to bed? Perhaps this was a nap? Was he that tired like Alfred? All these thoughts poured into the American's head before he froze.  
It felt like the world had blackened around him. Alfred opened his mouth to speak again, "Mattie, this isn't funny bro!" No response. "Canada, I'm serious dude!"  
Alfred trailed a hand from his shoulders to his neck and gasped. Matthew was cold. Alfred immediately grabbed his brothers side and forced him over onto his back. The Canadian didn't budge. Alfred leaned down and put his ear to the brother's chest.  
His heart was not beating. Alfred's eyes went blank.


	4. Can I Be Your Hero Part 4- Breaking

**Title: Can I Be Your Hero?**

**Author: Ash04123**

**Rating: T **

**Disclaimer: Hetalia does in no way belong to me!**

"This here is breaking news! As you all know there has been a massive outbreak in the Canadian population and now the number of deaths has increased beyond anything we could ever imagine! It's making government officials even wonder if Canada is worth existing anymore." The television suddenly went blank as a pale hand lowered from clicking the power button. A blonde man stood there for a couple of moments, staring at the black screen before turning around to settle down in his seat.  
Alfred tried going over the recent events to regain his thoughts. It seemed like one huge blur.  
After realizing Canada's heart wasn't beating Alfred had quickly called up an ambulance. When they arrived he was gripping the Canadian so closely they almost had to give the American an injection to make him let go. He refused to leave Matthew's side; he couldn't remove himself. He wouldn't leave his side until the nurses and security guard pulled him away. They needed concentration which was hard to do with the American's yelling.  
Alfred let out a low whimper at the thoughts, as he realized his nails were digging into the side of his head. He quickly lowered his arms and let out a heavy sigh.  
"Ciao, America!" a sudden voice screamed as the American snapped his head up. He took awhile to focus on reality before noticing the peppy, Italian boy in front of him. "Are you okay friend? Why are you here? Are you sick?" Feliciano began pouring questions onto him, frowning slightly in concern.  
Alfred shook his head slowly, he really didn't feel like talking. Unfortunately for him, Italy sat down and leaned over his arm rest to hug the American. "I don't like seeing friends sad! Now tell me what's wrong," the boy insisted, squeezing him slightly. The blonde sighed and looked over, shaking his head once more.  
"It's my brother," he whispered lowly.  
Feliciano gasped and put his hands up to his mouth as if he was trying out for a part in a play. "Oh no! What happened? I knew he was sick but..."  
Alfred gripped his head again, groaning lowly, "I don't know, they won't tell me anything yet."  
Feliciano stood quiet for a moment, staring at the distraught man. After a few minutes he softly patted the American's back, "Want to know why I'm here?" America frowned; was he even listening to him? Why would he want to hear about Italy's life when his own brother's was in danger?  
"Why?" he answered anyhow. Italy stood up slowly, straightening out his light blue shirt and black pants. America didn't even know what he was wearing; he could tell that he had forgotten his jacket though. However, none of that mattered now.  
"I come here every week to spread joy to all the people here!" the Italian declared, smiling at the thought before frowning slightly. "Do you know all the things I see each time I come?" America shrugged, truly unsure.  
"I see a lot of pain, Alfred, from all kinds of people. There's those inside that room who are ill, and then there's people like you who are in painful stress!" Feliciano paused, still gathering his thoughts. "What I'm trying to say is, I understand that you're scared for your fratello but you have to stay strong. He wouldn't want you to give up or anything!" he smiled brightly as his curl bounced.  
Alfred stared for a moment before giving a slight smile, "Thanks dude, I won't." Italy began bouncing and clapping before freezing.  
"I'm sure Matthew will be alright, he's a strong man you know! Just like you!" he gave another short clap before skipping off down the long white hallway. America guessed he was going to make other people feel better. Alfred respected that about Feliciano; he could stay bright even in the worst of situations.  
The American closed his eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. He had to stay confident for Matthew. Alfred nodded once before forcing a confident smile on. As the sudden rapid steps of a doctor running down the hallway filled the air, Alfred snapped his head up. He stared as a young man, who looked quite tired, dashed passed the blonde. Immediately his instincts made him stand up and reach out to call for him, but he retreated his hand.  
Why would he bother this doctor when he seemed so busy? Besides, who said he was running to Matthew's room? Or if he was, what good would it do to stop him when the Canadian's life was on the line? Alfred clenched his fists before slowly settling back down in his seat.  
He wanted to be the strongest person in the world, but the clear grief on his face was hard to miss. Usually at times like this, he was able to put on that fake mask that everyone knew as the hero. However, that didn't seem to be happening this time. This was his brother, his lover, his world, in the hospital. A shudder ran down the American's spine as a short quick gasp escaped his mouth.  
He began remembering how cold Matthew's hands were, as if he had been dead since the moment he fell asleep. Dead, the American thought as tears threateningly gathered at the edges of his eyes. He sniffed once and blinked a few times before bringing his arm up, wiping his eyes with a sleeve.  
He desperately tried to at least half-smile but in the end those dreadful tears began slipping out. Eventually he decided if he closed his eyes they wouldn't come out, or appear as much. However after around thirty minutes later, as the Sun began to lower early on the cold Winter day, Alfred began to drift into slumber.  
-x-x-x-  
As he glanced around the empty space, Alfred stood surrounded by complete darkness. He lowered his eyes to the ground which seemed just as black, showing no sign of a floor even being there. His eyebrows rose as the sound of a low whimpering caught his attention. He quickly looked up and began looking around once more, but to no avail at finding who the sound was coming from.  
Instead he decided to start moving his legs, which felt heavy, in attempt to find the person. He continued walking, searching around frantically, until he came across a small figure in the distance. He stared for a moment, squinting his eyes, trying to figure out who it might be. After a couple seconds he quickly gave up and began jogging over to the mysterious person. Only when he was a few feet away did he abruptly stop, his eyes growing wide, as he noticed who the figure was.  
He took a step back as the young boy in front of him turned his head slightly, tears streaming down his eyes, staring at Alfred. It was his brother.  
The young Canadian slowly stood up from his spot on the ground, very slowly, as if he could break with any wrong moment. America glanced his lover over and immediately noticed what he was wearing; a white robe down to his feet and golden sandals. He might of looked beautiful had it not be for the enormous red stain trailed down the pure silk.  
The Canadian upon noticing Alfred let out a small smile while taking a step forward, "Alfred?" His voice seemed quiet, as if he was still sick in this surreal world. Alfred tilted his head to his side, wanting to speak, but no words left his mouth.  
"Alfred, you lied," Matthew whispered as his gentle smile slowly turned into a frown, "I thought you were my hero, Alfie."  
Alfred's eyes opened even wider, his usual blue color seeming as dark as a storm. "I am your hero, Mattie, what are you talking about?" he responded, reaching out to wrap his arms around his brother. The other blonde quickly retreated from the incoming hug and shook his head slowly.  
"You were supposed to save me, I wasn't supposed to die," he whined lowly, closing his eyes.  
"Die?" the American responded as the word seemed to absorb his breath away. "You can't be dead, we're still in the hospital, you can't be dead!" he began to chant the same words to himself quietly, rapidly shaking his head as well.  
"It's okay, Alfie, you'll be okay and so will I," the brother smiled once again, but this time it was more sinisterly. "This time, we'll both be together forever." At the end of the final word his expression darkened and he lunged forward. Too shocked to move, Alfred stood in place.  
He was pushed onto the ground as Matthew straddled him, letting out low chuckles and giggles, "I thought you could be my hero, Alfie, I thought I was going to live because of you! If I knew I was going to die sooner, I would have told you so much more." He leaned in and softly kissed the American's forehead before moving to whisper into his ear.  
"Truth is, you were too weak to protect me. You lied, Alfie, and now I hate you."  
-x-x-x-x-x-  
Alfred's eyes shot open as his body seemed to be in a frenzy of shivers. He gripped his chest tightly and tried breathing, gasping for air in the process. Was he having a heart attack? Had Matthew really gone and died? Has he tried to take Alfred with him as punishment?  
Only after a few moments of breathing hard Alfred focused in front of him. Only now did he notice the young doctor from before standing there, crouched down to his height with a worried expression on his face.  
"Alfred, are you okay?" he spoke, lightly patting the American's leg. Alfred quickly nodded before realizing he was alive and well. Alfred glanced past the doctor and frowned. Where was Matthew?  
Noticing the man's stare the doctor mimicked him while he stood up.  
"Alfred, I'm afraid I have some bad news."  
America's heart sunk to the floor.


	5. Can I Be Your Hero Part 5- Sleep Tight

**Title: Can I Be Your Hero?**

**Author: Ash04123**

**Rating: T **

**Disclaimer: Hetalia does in no way belong to me!**

The American looked around when entering his lover's room. The walls were a plain white, it was far from the American's taste. He preferred vibrant colors streaming down everywhere, but none of that mattered right now. If a world war broke out right now, it simply wouldn't be of higher importance than this.  
Alfred sat on the edge of the hospital bed, reaching over to hold his brother's hand. Matthew lay with a beige blanket over him, just slightly reaching up above his chin. Tears streamed down and stained his pale cheeks. He gripped his brothers hand softly, rubbing it with his thumb. The Canadian made a small sound before opening his eyes and looking up at the American.  
"Alfred...?" he whispered quietly, weakly gripping his hand as well. His eyes seemed to have lost their color, as they stared blankly into Alfred's.  
America took a moment before whispering, "Mattie, I..."  
"What's wrong, Alfred?" his eyes narrowed slightly in concern, frowning. Canada kept his stare on his brother, not moving them for a second. Alfred opened his mouth to speak but immediately closed it, realizing he couldn't speak the truth out loud. Instead he shook his head and leaned down, wrapping his arms around his brother and holding him close. The Canadian hardly returned the hug, making a small whimper at the effort needed to do so at all.  
"Alfred, please tell me," he tried again, eyes partly closing.  
"Mattie, the doctors..." Alfred was sent back to the conversation.  
x-x-x-x-x  
"You may want to prepare yourself for this, Alfred," the young doctor spoke, his eyes averting down to the ground. Alfred's eyes widened, his heart seemed to have gone straight to his feet. It felt as if acid was building inside his chest, slowly spreading and poisoning his body.  
Even so, he nodded and took a deep breath, never breaking eye contact with the man.  
"I'm ready," he muttered quietly, which he knew was a lie. The doctor kneeled down and placed a gentle hand on the blonde's lap. He looked up and his eyes seemed to have aged from just a few moments ago. They seemed to darken and grow tinier.  
"Matthew survived his attack over night, however I'm afraid he won't make it much longer. The cancer seems to have spread far too much to contain it any longer. There's nothing we can do but keep an eye on him until it's his time. He may not last the week, Alfred."  
Suddenly the world was a darkened abyss with nowhere to go, but down into it. Alfred could hear a loud ticking in his head and he knew; the clock was ticking on Matthew's life. The sound grew louder and louder until it was pounding against his head. The last thing Alfred remembered was letting out a loud yell and running to Matthew's room.  
x-x-x-x-x  
"Alfred?" Matthew reached down to lightly pat the American's head. Alfred snapped back into reality and tilted his head up to look at his brother.  
_Tick. Tick. Tick._  
"Matthew, you're going to sleep," he whispered quietly just loud enough for him to hear. Matthew furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Alfred with an odd look.  
Alfred decided to continue, "You're going to be sleeping for a very long time."  
Then it dawned on on the boy, his eyes growing wide. "Y-You mean?" his began to tear up as he kept his gaze on Alfred. America couldn't bare to see him this way; it was a pain that no one but him would ever understand.  
He leaned up and kissed his lover's cheek, nuzzling it quietly. They wrapped their arms around eachother and remained side by side. They seemed to stay frozen in this position for hours. They weren't sure how long it was, nor did they care. They would give up anything in the world to stay as they were now for an eternity.  
When night hit however, Matthew grew tired and eventually fell asleep. Alfred let out a small sigh but hopped off the bed, settling down in a chair nearby. It wasn't long after that, he too drifted off into slumber.  
x-x-x  
The next day Arthur and Francis arrived at the hospital. Arthur ran in with his arms stretched out, quickly wrapping them around Matthew.  
"My poor baby! Bloody hell, this can't be happening to my baby!" he immediately sobbed, rocking the Canadian back and forth in his arms. Matthew remained silent, letting him do so. Francis stepped in and sighed heavily. Alfred noticed that his eyes were dark, and assumed that Arthur was up all night crying, keeping him awake. Alfred had called them before he fell asleep to inform them about Matthew's time left in the world.  
"Mon Dieu, I can't believe this is happening," he glanced over at Alfred who was slumped over in his seat. "You look so tired, Amérique."  
"I can say the same for you, Pa," he grumbled under his breath. Normally he would have laughed but under the circumstances, nothing funny existed in the world. Instead he kept his eyes locked on his father, glancing him over quickly. He wore a purple sleeved shirt with a blue pair of khakis. His lightly golden hair was tied up and his face clearly showed some stubble.  
His eyes roamed over to Arthur who still has Mattie in a close hug. He had a green sweater on with little red balls designed all over it. Alfred's eyes opened slightly, how could he forget that Christmas was just a few weeks away? Then it really dawned on him, the horror of it all. Mattie wouldn't be there this Christmas.  
He shook his head and buried his face into his hands, letting out a shaky sigh.  
"This can't bloody be happening! This is all my fault, I should have never let you two out of my sight!" Arthur let out little gasps through his crying. Alfred peeked an eye out at he man, studying his distraught expression just barely appearing above the Canadian's blond hair. Living with Arthur again would have been a blessing, if Mattie would have remained healthy.  
Alfred told himself it was best not to try and blame himself for what was happening, knowing it would lead nowhere.  
"Dad, please calm down," Mattie pleaded, slowly running his fingers through the Englishman's hair. Arthur simply held on closer, staring the boy straight in the eyes soon after.  
"Please, tell me this is just a nightmare." Arthur glanced around the room, from Francis, to Alfred, back to Matthew. All of their eyes stared at him and he broke down in tears once again. The room fell into a tense silence, whatever Arthur saw in their eyes, it must not have been something good. Then again, they were just tired right?  
x-x-x-x  
Matthew couldn't sleep, he didn't feel like wasting his final moments away. Arthur and Francis had left a couple hours earlier after Arthur didn't seem to be able to calm down. His eyes glanced around the room, the plain, silent room. Alfred had fallen asleep in the chair next to his bed, snoring quietly and softly. Matthew kept his eyes on the man as his chest slowly and calmly lifted up, releasing a small breath and lowering back down.  
Mattie thought Alfred looked beautiful in his near frozen position. His thoughts began to ponder of himself like that, considering he may even die tonight. Would he be that gorgeous when he died? He tried to imagine himself as still as possible. What would they make him wear? He thought for a minute before deciding, knowing Alfred, he'd be put into a traditional black suit.  
He tried to envision his purple eyes begin to shut as the doctor's announced his death. Would Alfred cry? How many people would actually care? He had always been just the invisible nation anyway, right? He dwelled on the thought for a moment, closing his eyes in the process. He began counting how many people would even be, in the slightest, affected by his death.  
Alfred was a definite, he was his lover after all. There was no denying this no matter how many loopholes he tried to find. He stuck out his index finger and thought for a few more minutes. Would Arthur and Francis miss him? He was their little boy after all, right? Even if Arthur did forget him sometimes. He stuck two more fingers out and sighed heavily.  
The other nations didn't even remember that he existed, would any of them really care? They probably wouldn't even pay attention to his absence until they saw how affected Alfred was by it and asked. The boy could feel tears begin to form in his eyes, why did this upset him so much? This was how his whole life was, so why did it hurt now?  
Maybe death wasn't as bad as everyone made it seem. It wasn't like the nation was being beaten or shot. He was going to go peacefully, by the one he loved. Knowing Alfred, the Canadian would be wearing the most majestic clothing, in the most expensive casket he could find. He wouldn't have to be neglected anymore, perhaps after he was gone, people would actually remember him as a part of history. Canada may actually be known for once in his life.  
If only that were true. Matthew would give up all the notice in the world, as long as Alfred was there for him. He looked over at the sleeping American and smiled weakly. The American had his head leaned back, his hands into his pockets while he huddled into his bomber jacket. He could sense a small draft from the window, but nothing much to complain about.  
Eventually he decided to close his eyes and try to sleep, even if he wouldn't wake up in the morning. At least he was able to gaze at Alfred one final time, right? A small smile tugged at his lips as he let out a content sigh, slowly drifting off into slumber.  
x-x-x  
It felt cold, almost like a blizzard was hitting the American. He slowly opened his eyes, yawning and shuddering under the freezing air. It took him a moment before realizing the window was open and letting in a nasty breeze. He quickly stood up and walked over to it, muttering in slight anger. Couldn't the doctors have put the heater on? It was the middle of December and there were sick patients in here!  
He closed the window with ease before suddenly catching up to reality. One of those sick patients was his brother. Alfred quickly turned around and walked back to Matthew's bed, glancing him over. He seemed to be breathing alright so Alfred quickly calmed down.  
He decided to settle back down in his chair and watched his brother until he woke up. He stared at the dark rings under Mattie's eyes, he looked like he hadn't slept in an eternity. His hair, instead of growing, has to be kept trimmed short.  
He remembered when they were younger, how even then his brother had pretty long hair. They would run through the fields happily, holding hands and being chased by either Francis or Arthur. Alfred buried his face into his hands, how he missed these times. Could life really be this cruel? Any second now his brother could fade away into history.  
He remembered when Prussia had passed on. Prussia was a decent friend of his, they had some history together when the American was still young. The world was quiet for some time, Germany didn't speak too much. Is that how Alfred would become?  
He pushed the thought away, Mattie wasn't dead yet. He reached over the bed and gripped his brother's hand softly, rubbing it with his thumb. He brought it up and softly kissed the fragile body part. As he did he heard a soft muffle.  
Alfred looked upward to see Matthew slowly opening his eyes. His usual purple color seemed to darken, they looked nearly gray now. Upon noticing the blond, Canada smiled warmly. "Morning, Alfred."  
Alfred chuckled weakly, bringing Mattie's hand up to his cheek lovingly. "Actually, it's more like evening," he whispered, glancing over at the nearby clock.  
_Tick. Tick._  
Matthew followed his gaze with his eyes only, not moving an inch in the process. A small frown appeared on his face as he sighed.  
"Alfred, I have a question."  
Alfred arched a brow and tilted his head. "Ask away dude."  
Matthew took in a deep breath, averting his eyes from the American's. "What will you do after..." I die. He couldn't bare to say the final words. Alfred couldn't help but smile, not at the truth behind the question, but the thought of his brother worrying. He was the one dying, yet all he wanted to know about was Alfred.  
"I don't know." Alfred admitted, for he refused to think about it until the time came.  
"Would you find someone else?" Matthew weakly gripped Alfred's hand now, reversing the positions. The question had popped into his head last night when he was on the verge of sleep, and he had to know. Would Alfred move on? He wouldn't blame the man if he did, but even then the thought only saddened him. Everyone had known how possessive the American could be over the Canadian, but even Matthew had to admit he would be pretty upset vice verse.  
Alfred thought about it for a moment before parting his lips slightly to speak. "Who else would I go to? Unless you were somehow reborn."  
Matthew couldn't help but let out a quick, small sigh of relief, that Alfred paid attention to and chuckled. They stayed that way, holding each other's hand for what seemed like an hour.  
_Tick. Tick._  
"I can feel it, Alfred," the brother whispered lowly, his eyes partly closing. Alfred didn't need an explanation, he knew what his brother was speaking about. "I don't have much time."  
Alfred stood up and leaned over his lover, placing a gentle kiss to his forehead before traveling down to his cheek, and over to his pale lips. Their lips brushed across one another for just a moment before pressing together softly. Matthew felt so cold, like he was hardly alive even then. They continued their kiss until the American noticed the purple eyes he grew to love, began to close.  
This was it. It was happening.  
_Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._  
The next few moments were a spiral of events that flashed through Alfred's mind. He wasn't sure when so many doctors and nurses had flew into the room. He didn't protest when they pulled him away from the Canadian. He didn't even rebel when they got in his view of his brother. He stood there and watched, his head was pounding but he refused to move. Alfred looked over at the heart monitor, he didn't understand what the rapid then slowing sounds meant.  
America stood for a moment as the doctor's seemed to slow their actions. He finally moved past them, ignoring their slight attempts to pull and push him away. He stared at his brother for only a moment as he leaned in and cupped his cheek.  
"Sleep tight, my prince," he whispered quietly. As he did, the universal sound everyone knew lingered in the air. A dreadful, long, beep. It continued for what seemed like forever.  
The doctors all hung their head, a few reached out to place a hand on Alfred's shoulder. As they began to clear out, shaking their heads, Alfred remained at his brother's side.  
Reality is cruel. It won't let you have a few moments of peace in a bad situation. No matter how long you wish to be in a better place, it won't magically appear for your benefit or pleasure. Alfred always knew this, but he didn't actually expect the truth to be so painful. If life was fair in any possible way before, any hope he still had in such a thought, was gone.  
"I love you, Mattie." He forced a smile, reaching for the remote on the nearby table and pointed it to the television that hung above on the wall. He searched through the channels until he stopped on what he was looking for.  
"The president of the United States has just informed us of the claim over former Canada. From this day on, Canada is just another part of history."  
_Tick. Tock._ The clock stopped.

**((Oh, but that's not the end. There is an epilogue on it's way as well! ))**


	6. Can I Be Your Hero Part 6- Peace Of Mind

(( Quickly! As it turns out I decided to throw in another chapter before the Epilogue, due to realizing how things would sun smoother this way. That is all, enjoy!))

* * *

As it turns out, things went a bit differently than Matthew had thought. He wasn't put into a majestic casket or an elegant suit. Far from it, if anything.

After awhile of just staring, Alfred was eventually pulled away from his brother's body. He knew there wasn't any use in staring at it, but he just hoped Mattie would open his eyes and pretend it was all a nightmare.

They wouldn't allow Alfred to see his brother any longer, it was a rule forbidding nations to see a passed one. Oh boy, did Alfred throw a riot. He could admit he was frozen for the first day, reality was the devil itself. He couldn't grasp the idea of Canada actually being gone. He was there one day, and gone the next? Is that really all life had to offer? Even so, they had no right to keep his brother from him!  
Of course, that didn't stop the nations from paying their respects. It really was quite the surprise, the others telling America how they were going to put aside all their work for a day to be considerate of his passing brother.

Alfred hadn't expected something so huge when he woke up the next day, as he stared out from the top floor of his house. There were thousands, hundred thousands, maybe even millions of people standing outside. They seemed to be from all over the world, America even noted Russia standing among the crowd.

World Wide events didn't happen all too often, and when they did nearly everyone was watching. There were cameras and news reporters desperately trying to capture the moment. Alfred stepped out onto his balcony, mouth agape, staring at the unbelievable amount of people. It was quite chilly outside but he didn't care, nor did the people seem to.

He gazed around all the individual faces, surely Mattie hardly talked to anyone outside his family. This was just surreal! He froze when he caught sight of ocean blue eyes staring back at him. Alfred blinked a moment before glancing up from the man's vision. It took him a moment to process before he realized who it was.

Ludwig stared back at the American, sorrow seeming to build in his eyes. He knew how this felt, he had been through the same thing. He kept it so well hidden, Alfred couldn't even come close to telling how. The German kept their gazes locked before nodding once. Alfred didn't need any explanation, Ludwig was comforting him. His look was a reminder to the American that things would be okay.

Although Alfred wasn't too sure of that, he still appreciated the gesture. After looking at as many people as he could, America tilted his head upward, staring up into the sky and past the clouds. Could Matthew be looking down right now at this? Was he able to see all the people who did care for him in the end? Alfred liked to imagine he did, he liked to think Mattie could be at rest with this image even.

He knew his brother wasn't particularly noticed by many people. In fact, even when he wasn't sick, he'd spend many days alone in the house with no one to spend time with him. Alfred was always working and thinking up of new ideas for the world meetings, while Mathew would just sit at home doing nothing. The waiting game was over, now the whole world could see him. Canada was finally more than just America's brother or America himself even.

**He was Canada. He was Matthew Williams.**

The event went on all day. Everyone paid their respects in one way or another. More people came and went, some stopping by just to say a small prayer, which warmed Alfred's heart. Soon the American's property was cleared of all the people. However, he did notice a final figure standing outside as the moon began to rise.

Curiosity got the better of him as he stared from his front door. Not bothering to slip on his jacket, for he already had on a hefty black sweater, he jogged over to the shadow. He abruptly stopped when he was able to see their face, the moon shimmering above as a source of light.

He blinked a few times, noticing it was Ludwig. Germany turned his head to look at the American, a locked neutral expression on his face. He nodded his head in greeting as Alfred did the same. What was Germany still doing here?  
"Hallo, Alfred." He whispered quietly, focusing his eyes on the American's. The younger blond forced a smile and weakly waved. They stood in their positions for quite awhile, an awkward silence beginning to linger between them before the German continued. "You know, you should never give up hope."

Alfred took a small step back in surprise at the sudden words. What was he assuming was going on in Alfred's head? America let out a small sigh, well of course he knew. It wasn't too far back that Prussia had passed on. He felt a bit ashamed for knowing there was a moment he had given up on life. Even now, he wasn't too sure what good it had to offer him anymore. Could happiness exist without his lover?

"It vill be a long road, und you will be put through many harsh times," Ludwig froze, assorting his words, "but in ze end it vill get better." Alfred tried to take the man's words into heart, but he wasn't exactly sure what he meant. He decided to nod and pretend he knew what he was talking about. Maybe it would be made clear further into the future? He didn't know, he didn't actually care at the moment either.

Ludwig nodded once before looking upward into the sky, as if something from above was speaking to him. He stood that way so Alfred couldn't help but glance up as well. The stars shone bright above them, which was very weird. Alfred and Matthew had lived in the city for a quite a bit of time, and they had never seen that many stars.

Alfred remembered how they'd try and point out each star that came into view, as if they were the most precious thing in the world. Only now did he realize how silly that was.

Still, the dark sky seemed to glow with all the stars in sight. It truly was beautiful, that Alfred couldn't deny. "Ze stars vere like zhis when..." Ludwig started, but couldn't finish.

Alfred simply nodded, sighing slightly. Perhaps this is what happened when a new Angel was made?

America wasn't sure when Germany had walked away. He eyes were busy staring up into the midnight sky. He wasn't sure how long he stood there. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to ever move from that spot. Everything seemed to be lifted off his shoulders in that moment, he wasn't part of reality right now. He didn't want to be.

As his neck grew stiff he knew he'd have to look away. However, before such he couldn't help but catch the glimpse of a quick line across the sky from the corner of his eye. He quickly snapped his head back to see if it was his imagination, but nothing was there.

Regardless, Alfred closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Maybe it was a sign from Mattie that he was happy.


	7. Can I Be Your Hero Part 7- Epilogue

Alfred huffed and wiped the building sweat on his forehead. He had been working on his car for quite some time now. Keeping things in comparison with the new ones each year proved to be tough. He simply could have bought a new one, but was more satisfied knowing he could make an old one to be just as nice.  
He threw his rag to the side and stood up, boy was he greasy. He swatted as his black undershirt and casual blue jeans. He knew he needed a shower but the excitement was getting to him. He wanted to take his car out so badly, and right now! He quickly opened the driver's door and sat down, slipping his key into the ignition.  
He let out a little sigh as his eyes wandered to the picture he had in the car. Hanging from the rear-view mirror was a necklace with a small picture inside the opened heart charm. The picture showed both Alfred and Matthew grinning happily, cake smothered onto each of their faces. It was from one of their birthdays. Alfred smiled to himself before focusing on the road and setting the car in drive.  
The car roared to life and in the next minute was zooming out of the garage and onto the streets. Alfred didn't care much about speeding tickets and such, he was the hero after all. Besides, he was too impatient to drive any slower. He reached over and turned the radio on, blasted it on for that matter.  
He searched through the stations before stopping on a Pop one. He squirmed and wiggled around in an attempt to dance in his car, singing along with any of the words he actually knew. Even when he didn't know a phrase he'd loudly hum along with the music. He was panting slightly as the commercials came up, leaning back in his seat a bit.  
He didn't notice that he had traveled outside of the city. The plain fields in front of him seemed endless, he was pretty glad for that. He stopped his car for a moment and stared outside the window at the field. It was the middle of Spring and the flowers and grass were dancing in the light breeze in the air. He smiled peacefully and lowered the window, leaning his arm on the car door. He stared outside as different colored petals passed by in the wind, pink, yellow, red.  
It had been thirty years since his brother's passing. Nations didn't age that easily, so it felt almost like nothing. Alfred could still easily remember how pale and cold his brother's skin was, how his purple eyes seemed to darken. His eyes began to close, but he quickly opened them as the radio suddenly changed from a commercial to an announcement.  
"We've just receieved important news," the monotone voice began, "that our President has agreed in dividing the nation to what it once was due to lack of cooperation and organization as of late. After a long time of waiting and reconsidering..." Alfred stopped listening, his eyes growing wide.  
It couldn't be, could it?  
A giggle interuppted his thoughts and he snapped his attention back outside. He quickly captured the sight of a little child, rolling around in the grass. His blond hair was just above his shoulders as he sat up and tried to brush the green stains from his clothing. He couldn't have been more than a few years old, if Alfred had to guess.  
Alfred hesitatted before stepping out of the car and quietly closing the door. The boy didn't seem to notice him as he laughed loudly and innocently, running across the field as his hair bounced. Alfred stared at the boy before he abruptly stopped moving and froze in place. A pause lasted for a moment before the boy turned around and faced the older man. His purple eyes shone under the sunlight as the edges of his lips widened and he smiled brightly.  
"Alfie!" he screamed as he began running into brother's arms.

* * *

Well guys, I hope you enjoyed! I had so many different emotions while writing this. UsCan happens to be my OTP and I wanted it to be my first fanfiction. Please do leave reviews, I'd love to know how this went! I may be writing more in the future, but for now this journey has ended. Until next time...! -Ash


End file.
